I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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