I think im going to throw up on grandma
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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