my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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