90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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