She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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