this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
