There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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