Your mouth is God's brothel.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
