She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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