when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
