someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
