This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
