Will you blow on my dice?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Farmville is her only friend.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
