I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
