you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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