I hate all girls vehemently.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
