What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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