all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
