i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
