good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
