puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
