I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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