I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
