He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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