margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
where am i from again
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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