the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
