Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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