I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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