they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
