No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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