the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
