question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
