That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
