just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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