There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
