she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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