I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
