Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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