You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
