you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
