He told me they were just razor bumps!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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