Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
