walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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