At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
