i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
