Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
