i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
