And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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