I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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