I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
