he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
