Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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