If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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