your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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