who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
