Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have post one night stand depression
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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