mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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