Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize