So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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