Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
