She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
