i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Randomize
