Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize