Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
